Legacy Challenge, College pt III

Hiiiiii *waves*

So blah blah screw Jennifer blah blah... I don't even wanna talk about that crazy chick. And yup, I'm back with Vanessa... she's the best thing for me since sliced bread.

Why Vanessa? Why not "Tastee" or Viola? Well damn... those were some hot chicks...

*pauses*

But nah nah... they weren't right for me... I mean, I tried to take Tastee out on a date a few months back... remember, I told you we set a date after meeting outside of my econ class?? Well lemme tell you... that chick is SUPER WACKKKKKK.

So I'm out with Tastee at this tight little jazz lounge... we're enjoying ourselves... chilling...you know you know...

And who walks in? VIOLA. So I play it cool and I introduce the two chicks... keep in mind, Viola and I never hooked up... we just "flirted" with each other, ya dig?

Anyway, I introduce the two chicks... and Tastee starts WHILING OUT on me!! Talking 'bout "who the hell is this?" and "Don't you know this is my man?!" Getting all up in Viola's face and whatnot...

Um excuse me?! Wtf? Tastee was tripping! So I try and cool Tastee out... pull her to the side... and Viola starts bugging out too!!

Do you know what this heffa did? She SLAPPED me... SLAPPED ME! Like it was a damn duel or something!! Oh hell naw my dude, I had to dipset after that one...

Man... these chicks, I tell ya...



But Vanessa's not like that... she's not into the bball fame... and she definitely doesn't judge me for the crap I put her (and half the woman on this campus...*cringes*) through...she keeps me focused too. My head's definitely been on straight since we started dating again... my scoring average is up, the team is winning, my GPA has risen because V helps me study... man this girl is heaven sent!




Plus she's the hottest little piece I've ever had! It's like I can't keep my hands off of her... but not in a bad way, not like with Jennifer... this feels real...like something special. Maybe even...love?

*pauses*

Nahhhhh chill chill chill... not ready for love my dude! But I am ready to get some action...and damn if V isn't down for anything either!




Ummmm Len definitely has a way of ruining a moment... nosey much homie?!




Oh hell no!! That's her new boytoy?

*rolls over dying with laughter*

WOW...wow...wow...poor Len, I need to warn him while I still can!!



Anyway... before I go, I gotta tell you this one last trippy story... kinda weird but bear with me, I promise its hot!

So I'm chilling at the library one night around 10:30 (V tells me that I need to study more and need to keep my head in the books if I want to get to the league)... and I see my homeboy "bubble-guts Dirk"... he's damn near running out of the library wearing this nasty ass black dirty blazer...so I'm like "Dirk! Whattup dude!"

And Dirk being... well a freaking weirdo, pauses for two seconds and says "I'm quite busy at the moment...tally ho old chap!"

So I'm like "nah dude... you can't play me like that...remember how I looked out for you freshman year?!"

So Dirk pauses again, right... taps his peanut head and says "hmmm... I understand the validity of that statement... you shall be repaid in kind dear sir" and runs out of the library into the darkness.

Dude, when I tell you I laughed for ten straight minutes, I am not lying! I figured old boy musta had the runs... pretty typical with Dirk you know?




So around 12:30 the library closes and I head back to the crib... decide to watch a lil tv before I hit the sack and chill out... around 2:30 I get a knock on my door... so I'm like "who the hell is this?"

So I ignore the door and keep on watching tv...

Another knock.

So now I'm pissed off... I know it's not V because she's out of town at some cheerleader camp and ish... and nobody else would dare come to my room after midnight unless they were trying to hit them draws (and V DEFINITELY put a stop to that ha ha)...

So I say "go away"

To which I hear a HELLA deep voice say "Mr. Washington, open the door immediately."

So I'm freaking out now... is that the damn police?! Security?! Did I do something wrong...? Is Vanessa ok?!

I open up the door and this big ass hulk hogan looking mofo dressed in all black busts into my room and starts screaming at me! And get this...

dude starts clucking like a chicken.

*silence*

a chicken. I kid you not.




So after like 20 seconds of being completely stunned... I'm like "DUDE, GET OUT OF MY ROOM"

Dude just keeps on clucking.

Now I'm beyond angry... I got disturbed for this shit?! Oh hell no!




I try and go for dude and BOOM... he busts this jackie chan style move and next thing I know... I'm being HANDCUFFED.

Mofo say what?! HANDCUFFED? oh helllllll naw!!!




Damn kid. It's always the black dude.



So homie leads me out the door... STILL HANDCUFFED... thank God it was almost 3am... no one saw me leave the dorm. All I could think about was what my parents were going to say and how disappointed they were going to be... would coach kick me off the team? Oh snap, would Vanessa be able to bail me out? Ummm how about wtf did I do?!

As we're walking, I try and talk to "hulk hogan..." I'm like, "tell me why I'm being arrested... this is agains the law"

dude is silent... we walk for a little bit longer and I notice that we're walking towards a stretch limo... not a police car.

Now I'm freaking out... a limo, not a cop car? Who was this dude?

"Dude WHERE are you taking me?!?!"

"Shut up." Those were the last two words he spat at me as he shoved me into the back of the limo...




We dove for what felt like about an hour... in silence the whole time. I'm thinking to myself, "this is on some real kidnapper type ish right here!" Then we pulled up in front of this HUUUUUUUUUUUUGE MANSION...I mean it was like the biggest house I'd ever seen with all kinds of freaky shit in the front yard... "Hulk Hogan" undid my cuffs and literally kicked my black ass out of the car... I fell to the sidewalk, looked up and who did I see...

"Dirk?! Dirk is that YOU? What the hell is going on?!"

Yup... Mullet-headed bubble guts Dirk was standing right in front of me wearing that same nasty outfit he had on earlier... He was jumping up and down like a damn clown and laughing hysterically.

"See I TOLD YOU I'd repay your kindness my good man! Tally hooooooo!"




Ummmmm right. I was still totally confused by Dirk's (and Hulk Hogan... man I still don't trust that dude) behavior... next thing I know, Dirk is ripping off my t-shirt (I was pissed... that ish was Armani son!) and throwing another ugly ass blazer on me...

"Dirk...what the fu..."

"My good man, welcome to the club! I'm the president of the oldest and most prestigious secret society on Campus... The Society for Preservation of Randy Llamas! Please, enjoy your membership... we shall help you with any endeavors you may hope to achieve... and remember, tell no one! You will recognize another Randy LLama only by our secret handshake!"



Dude the next 24 hours FLEW by... the society started me off by teaching me all of the rituals... the Randly Llama fight song... the cluck cluck chicken secret handshake... it was crazy! And man... that HOUSE! We had ish for days... stuff you can't even imagine (and I guess technically... that I can't tell you about? HA!)... my favorite part though is the mini golf course... I know I know, I'm a simple dude... but boy do I love mini golf... ha ha watch out tiger woods!